“How I choose to feel is how I am.” Pearl Jam, Inside Job

Last night, my girlfriend and I got into a tiff. She was upset because she felt like I had ignored one of her questions during a phone conversation that had just ended.

I explained that she was on speakerphone as I fed the cats and washed the dishes, and that I didn’t hear her question. She was not convinced, and I felt bad. It would be rude and disrespectful for me to simply ignore her inquiry as we chatted.

Then a thought occurred to me as I ate my air-fried chicken strips alone at the dinner table.

The unease I felt in that moment was not due to the present circumstances. To an outside observer in that moment, my life would seem grand: dude is sitting at a nice-looking dinner table, eating a large plate of golden chicken strips. (Don’t judge me for my palate of a 7-year-old.)

The unease and other unpleasant feelings were solely due to my thoughts—my rumination about the misunderstanding with Faith. And if I focused on my senses, like the smell and taste of the food & drink, I felt better.