Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don’t make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I’m going to be pissed and miserable every time I have to foodshop, because my natural default-setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me, about my hungriness and my fatigue and my desire to just get home, and it’s going to seem, for all the world, like everybody else is just in my way . . . .

David Foster Wallace

I was a shit yesterday afternoon to my girlfriend.

As we walked from the supermarket, she mentioned that if we made it home in time, we could go to the post office to mail clothes that she sold via Poshmark™. I replied sarcastically, saying, “Oh, good!” and hurt her feelings.

I acted like a creep. She had merely asked me to go to the post office with her. It’s located a block from our apartment. She didn’t request I walk 10 miles or shop for 10 hours. But I made the snarky quip because I did not feel like being out and running errands.

In that moment/hour/day?, I was focused only on Matt. I did not stop to take a breath and consider how blessed I was to be walking hand-in-hand with an incredible person. I did not pause and think, “Wow, my life is fucking fantastic–I am outside on a sunny day, doing whatever I want. I feel no physical or emotional pain.”

Unfortunately, I cannot go back and alter yesterday’s conduct. So, I’ll strive to be better today and not act like the little fish from the This is Water speech.