Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

Rumi

Every day, I tell my girlfriend I love her. She is an incredible woman whom I am blessed to know. Sometimes, in response to those three words, she says, “Yeah?” Her reply frustrates me, and I question her about why she’s unsure. She responds by stating that she simply seeks reassurance. I ask myself, “Why does she act that way?” But the question is misguided.

There is a better inquiry to ponder. That process begins with acceptance. I must choose to acknowledge, not repudiate.

Instead of directing my focus outwardly and resisting her reaction, I look in the proverbial mirror to explore my feelings and thoughts–the only things under my control. I play the role of the questioner and witness in this exercise: Why do her words trigger me? From where does my resistance derive? Do I show my love as much as I think I do?

And while I’ve not yet discovered all the solutions (and probably never will), I know I’m on the path towards peace of mind.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning

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