I pushed the dumbells into the air and thought, “This dude next to me is probably wondering what ails me, why I am not lifting heavier weights.” I finished the set and walked over to the sani-wipe dispenser.

I pull out a wet towelette before I turn (awkwardly?) to walk back to the bench. The spotlight shines brightly. “Was the glance over my shoulder to look out for an oncoming exerciser too exaggerated as I overcompensated for the blindness in one eye?”

Thomas Gilovich and Kenneth Savitsky were the first researchers to name the spotlight effect. One experiences this psychological phenomenon when they believe that everyone is looking at and judging them.

I repel the anxiety associated with the spotlight effect by zooming out and engaging my worried mind. “My man, we’ve been going to a gym since the good ol’ days at Dear ol’ State. We have never thought, ‘Why aren’t they lifting more? What’s wrong with them?'”

Those questions have never crossed my mind because I am preoccupied with myself–my weightlifting form, whether my lower back hurts, what I’ll eat for breakfast . . . . And everyone else in the gym in life is thinking about themselves, not me.

As a wise person once told me, “No one gives a fuck, Matt.”