On Saturday, I attended my niece’s First Holy Communion Mass. It was the first time I’ve attended Mass at a Catholic church in at least 10 years. I hope I do not attend Mass again for at least another 10 years. 

The antiquated ceremony reeked of a religion, which is out-of-touch with reality. The church was filled with second graders, who received the sacrament, and their family—many of whom lugged even younger children to the event. Although the church was full of youngins, who refuse to sit still and remain quiet—most important conduct during Mass—the priest decided to go with a service where each prayer is chanted, not spoken. Such a service is at least 20 minutes longer than one, which utilizes the spoken word. 

Moreover, the priest’s homily, who slow-talked all of his lines, was neither current nor interesting. I’m sure that my man has offered the same homily hundreds of times before. 

Two things came to mind as I sat in the church. First, I wondered how many kids were raped by this dude, or, in the alternative, how many of the dude’s buddies raped kids while he remained silent. Second, I wondered how the Catholic Church continues to be relevant. 

I’m sure that rant will earn me a cozy corner in hell, but I will not sit by and participate with a blind eye and a mute voice for fear that my blasphemy may anger God. I bet the Lord is out there thinking, “Why don’t these idiots enact some real, positive changes such that my teachings endure for 5,000 more years.”

I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, and I shake my head every time I see a story about the show in the New York Times or another news outlet. It’s a fucking television show on HBO. Why does the news media write about it? I couldn’t care less about Spoiler Alerts and wonder about which character dies next. I hope an asteroid hits that fantasy world such that all of the characters perish in one fell swoop. 

Several months ago, the Orange Menace declared an emergency at the southern border in an attempt to force the continued building of The Wall. It was a surprise to no one that the president resorted to fear-mongering and other low-hanging fruit tactics in his attempts to win support for the emergency declaration. But, there is a crisis at the southern border. It’s not the emergency that the president described, though. 

The Leader of the Free World has talked about illegal drugs and “bad dudes” pouring into the United States. He claims that more physical barriers will stem the tide of both. Trump is wrong about the problem and the solution. The problem is thousands of migrants, who have fled their homes in the lawless countries of Central and South America, have overwhelmed the border. These people have fled from places where, every single day, they must worry about the personal safety of themselves or their family members. Thus, Trump’s saber-rattling about “toughness” at the border doesn’t deter most. These folks will trade the security of a detention cell, and the hope of release into America for the anxiety of life threatened nearly every hour by gangs and violence. 

Hell, the Democrats should agree to give the president the money for his border wall. Then, in six months, when some of that wall is built, but the humanitarian crisis endures, there will be a “Told You So” moment. 

Instead of pointing fingers and vilifying members of the opposite party, Congresspersons must debate and enact wide-ranging, comprehensive legislation that: addresses the situation of illegal immigrants already in the U.S.; creates a better system for future immigration; and addresses the root of the problem—the broken governments of Honduras, El Salvador, and other countries in that region. 

Achieving ideas, and then compromises, for the legislation will be damned difficult. Nothing good comes easy, and the situation at the southern border demands it. 

Ben Simmons’s play annoys me. The dude is not likable. It’s obscene that he will not take a shot outside of 10 feet. I don’t understand how the 76ers justify paying him millions of dollars but did not add several stipulations to the contract. For example, Ben Simmons agrees that he’ll shoot at least 100 three-pointers during the season, and, if he doesn’t make at least 10% of those three-point shots, 90% of the money owed to him is waived; Ben Simmons’s foul shooting percentage for the season shall not be below 85% for any season during his contract, and, if the percentage is below 85% for a season, 85% of the money owed to him is waived. Those terms will surely keep him in the gym this off-season.